


The girl who cries blood

by conehead



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Period humor(?)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2019-01-07 20:27:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12240063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/conehead/pseuds/conehead
Summary: It all started after they had been dating for a month. Lexa has this prank of sorts that she likes to play on people, only everyone she knows is well acquainted with it and no longer fall for it. Now, however, she has Clarke and she’s waited what she believes is the appropriate amount of time before trying it out.Except, she ends up doing it one too many times.or Callie asked for period humor(?), because they suck, and here it is.





	The girl who cries blood

It all started after they had been dating for a month. Lexa has this prank of sorts that she likes to play on people, only everyone she knows is well acquainted with it and no longer fall for it. Now, however, she has Clarke and she’s waited what she believes is the appropriate amount of time before trying it out.

 

It was a Saturday afternoon and Lexa was, for lack of a better word, giddy. No one understood why she got so much joy out of something so juvenile. She was twenty five and still believed this was the _best prank ever_. No matter how much it annoyed her friends though, she wouldn't stop. Lexa believed it was some sort of initiation, into what, no one knew. And Clarke had yet to be a victim of Lexa's stunt. They had met at a self defense class a little over two months ago and after a month of partnering up, they went on their first date. 

 

After knowing each other for two months and dating for one, it was time. All she had to do was wait for the right moment. She spent her morning trying to distract herself, but there weren't any knew documentaries out, and she had already done a candle rotation the day before. So, she practiced her line in different voices and inflections until it was noon, when she knew Clarke would be leaving work and she called.

 

“Hey, what’s up? I’m just leaving work now, did you want to grab lunch or somethin-“

 

“I’m bleeding.” Lexa said in her most distressed voice, trying to suppress her grin. Even after doing this for the last ten years, a thrill and bolt of adrenaline still rush through her.

 

“What! Where? What happened? Are you dizzy? Where are you? I’m on my way.” Clarke’s response came out rushed yet still calculated in a way, that’s what she get’s dating someone who works in the ER. Lexa told her she was home, but didn't need to stay on the line and hung up, needing to go before she burst into a laughing fit.

 

When Clarke got to her place, Lexa nonchalantly opened the door with a grin that Clarke completely missed. Instead, the blonde scurried in and started examining her, looking for the source of the supposed blood. When the confused and questioning blue eyes met hers, she bit her lip to stifle a laugh.

 

“You’re not bleeding.” Clarke stated, brows furrowed, head tilted to the side in a way Lexa typically found adorable, but now was too hilarious to fawn at.

 

“No, I am, I swear.” Lexa said not able to hold back her laugh and Clarke's frown deepened.

 

“What is funny about this? Are you in shock? Where are you bleeding?” Clarke took Lexa’s head in her hands and moved it around, in search of something she missed. After coming up empty, she starts lifting the brunettes shirt, which if Lexa wasn't so engrossed in her "prank", she would have been red for a completely different reason.

 

Lexa pointed to her -monthly- source of bleeding and watched the realization dawn on the blonde.

 

It took two days for Clarke to talk to her again.

\----

Two months later she tried her luck again.

 

It was a Monday morning and Lexa was in the blondes kitchen making breakfast as Clarke got ready for the day. It was the perfect opportunity, she had spent the night, after falling asleep watching Grey’s Anatomy, and everything had stayed above the belt so Clarke wouldn't suspect anything.

 

“Hey babe?” Lexa called out, straining her voice than normal.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I’m bleeding.”

 

“I’ll be right there! Let me just get the first aid kit.” Clarke’s voice had switched to professional and Lexa couldn’t contain a laugh.

 

When Clarke came into the kitchen with a hospital grade medical kit to see Lexa leaning against the counter smirking, she sighed and walked back to her bedroom shaking her head and mumbling something undecipherable, closing the door behind her.

\---- 

Throughout the next year and a half there were a few other attempts with little to no success, only when Clarke was tired or distracted could Lexa fool her.

 

In all of her years and joy she's gotten out of it, she never figured the prank would come back to bite her. Until it did.

 

Trying to keep pressure on the towel she wrapped around her arm, she picked up her phone and called the first speed dial.

 

She heard voices and rustling on the other end, but no direct answer.

 

“Clarke?"

 

"Yeah, hi."

 

"Can you come home?”

 

“It’s really busy here babe. Is something wrong?”

 

“I’m bleeding”

 

“Lexa! I am not falling for this again, I know your cycle. Put a tampon in and I’ll see you for dinner.”

 

“What- no I’m serious!”

 

“Clarke?”

 

“Clarke, really!”

 

Lexa sighs, looking at the black screen, before dialing her next hope.

 

“Hey Linc, can you pick me up?”

 

“Sure, car troubles again? Where are you?”

 

“Home.”

 

“Be there in five.”

 

“Hey Lex-woah!” Lincoln stops wide eyed in the doorway before rushing towards her. “What happened?” He grabs her arm eliciting a groan.

 

“Ah, I uh tried to put the shelf up and well, I got mad, and it fought back.” She explains as she gets in the car.

 

“Why didn’t you call Clarke?”

 

“I-ah -I did.” She winces trying to put the seat belt on.

 

“And she’s not coming?” He asks in disbelief.

 

“Well, uh probably because she doesn’t believe me.”

 

“Why wouldn’t she believe you, are you guys having problems?” He asks, knuckles tightening on the wheel. Always the overprotective friend.

 

“No! No. It’s my fault- “The car jerks and a jolt of pain shoots through her arm when her seat belt locks in place. “Jesus try not to get into an accident on the way to the hospital, will you? I don’t need any more injuries”

 

“Sorry! There was a rabbit” He defends.

 

“You swerved into oncoming traffic!”

 

“I panicked! Anyway, why is her not believing you your fault?”

 

“You know that joke I used to play on Anya and well, everyone…” She tapers off and sees him deflate out of the corner of her eye.

 

“Lex-“

 

“Well, I guess I’ve done it one too many times now.”

\--

“All right guys I’m off,” Clarke says, going to turn in her last chart of the day. She stops when Tyler steps in front of her. “No, don’t look at me like that. I’ve already overstayed a double.”

 

“It’s just one more, you know we’re swamped, a few stitches and you’re good to go.” He says, eyes pleading for her not to fight it.

 

Sighing, she takes the file from him. “Fine”

 

Walking to the curtain indicated at the top of the page she swings it open as she starts to glance over the papers without looking up, completely missing the wide eyed brunette.

 

“Alright Ms-" She stops when her eyes go over the name, once, twice and one more time to make sure she's not seeing things, before she looks to the person on the bed. "Lexa?”

 

“Hi” Lexa gives her a sheepish grin and man she's overworked because nothing is adding up in her head right now.

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

“Uh..?” Lexa glances down at her arm and it's only then that Clarke sees the bright red soaked cloth.

 

“Oh my god, what happened?” She rushes forward, trying to turn on her work mode, but honestly it's been off for the last four hours and this is the last thing she was expecting to see.

 

“The-I um- the shelf?”

 

“Why didn’t you call me?” She asks sternly looking into the green eyes she fell for.

 

“I did?”

 

“You did…-” realization hits her “you weren’t kidding.”

 

“No”

 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry”

 

Lexa let’s out a hiss as Clarke moves her arm to examine it. “I kind of did this to myself”

 

"Yeah, well I shouldn't have just hung up on you."

 

"True." Lexa winces as the lidocaine is injected.

 

"I think it's time to retire your so called prank."

 

"It's a classic."

 

**Author's Note:**

> And I will probably take this down after she reads it, sorry if you suffered through xx


End file.
